Finding Home Within The ‘Ohm’
And the flow within my home
Greetings to you, my dearest reader!
I hope the timing of this letter finds you well. And if you aren’t, perhaps taking these few minutes for yourself, you will feel a bit of space.
So, go ahead…deep breath. Mmmm…
What does your breath sound like to you? If you let your voice come through and hum out your breath, that is called a bumble bee breath. That one is great to do 6 to 8 times or more over and over. You can even try placing your hands over your eyes, and plugging your ears with your thumbs, to block the senses. So very relaxing. Just let that feeling wash over you for a few minutes.
And now, feeling a bit more like ourselves, let’s chat.
As I write this, summer is in full swing. Apparently, I needed the entire months of June and July to just let go and relax. And RECOVER! Let me fill you in…so the evening that I finished and posted my last newsletter was a particularly relaxing one. Watching movies and hanging out with my thirteen-year-old son. My warrior child. We do a lot of that together, as he is in recovery from leukemia. He is currently in treatment. Well, the next day he came down with a fever. A very high fever. So, within an hour we were off to the hospital, where he spent the next eleven days, battling a bacterial infection, in one hospital room, on his own, with only his dad (for the first two nights) and me the rest, as his company. Due to the nature of his immune system, he had to stay in his room. Talk about strength. He demonstrated immense will and courage through that. And I dug deep and found where my resolve truly lives. It was hard, not gonna lie, but, I did my best to reframe my thinking as we spent our days and nights in our healing place, Comer’s Children’s Hospital in Chicago.
And of course, my mantras were there lending comfort the entire time. I would put them on and just let them play on low, in the room, or on repeat through my earbuds.
So, now you see, dear reader, why restoration took precedence, over production throughout June and July. I think I really gained an understanding of why there really are seasons for certain things in life. We can always set goals, and do our best to have an agenda, but we ultimately aren’t in full control. But, what we are in control of is how we react when things get flipped and our world turns chaotic. For me, it was just another ‘why’ it’s important to lean into helpful practices, like listening and chanting mantras. Finding my own sense of homely peace, through the chaos. This has granted the gift of clarity. Stripping away the distractions, deadlines, and expectations AND dipping into study and reflection.
Settling into this summer, I’ve been able to heal and reconnect. In between my self-degrading thoughts, ‘I should be producing more, running my household better, maintaining my four human and two fur family members better, running my business better, creating all the things…better, staying cool and relaxed…better.’ I have been deep in my yogic spiritual study. What I realized was, I am doing that every day, through grace. I don’t need to try any harder than the way I am already working. I’m in partnership with a higher being. The Great Mystery. God. Source. The thing that gives life to all.
Current books of study include the Bagvataum and Bhagavad Gita. A podcast that I have found very helpful in understanding these spiritual books is called Wisdom of the Sages.
These two, ex-monks, and punk-era contributors, break down spiritual concepts into daily doses that are easily metabolized. Their banter is both stimulating and entertaining. And they really break down this Eastern philosophy into digestible nuggets.
The Gita, a very beautiful story poem, says to let go. So, that’s what I’ve done. Writing has been kept to mainly just my journal. My poetry has been shared only in my heart and within a close community.
I admit I felt guilty for not hitting my writing goals by putting out my letter last month. But, I just allowed the spaciousness to flow. It was time to rest. So, I did just that. As my mind decluttered, so did the spaces within my vicinity. Decluttering and clearing have been a cathartic experience. The best pro tip I’ve gained was to declutter one thing every day. I set a timer and hit snooze when it goes off to see what I can nab and toss out before the timer goes off again. It’s actually really fun!
What has also helped through this period of coming back has been listening to music. Music I listened to in high school. All kinds of old and new music. Classical, Hip-Hop(happy 50th by the way!), Swing, House, Rock, Jam Band, Psychedelic, and Phonk, (a new one to me), and of course my MANTRA music. The list goes on. But, it has really helped me to process and just come to grips with all the hard things.
Our brains are like computers, that WE orchestrate. Not the other way around. Mantra has been shown to create new neuro-pathways in the brain. By utilizing the power behind these ancient technologies, we state to our brains, that the spirit that lives within, is the one in the driver’s seat. Not the default of our brain. Taking time out to just let a rhythm and rhyme run through my mind has been a way forward for me. A way to stay in alignment, or a tool to soothe when things get to be too much. So, go ahead be daring, and flip on the actual radio and see what’s playing or go bonkers and make a playlist. And just in case you felt like it…I made one up just for you, dear reader. Search Mantas & Coffee: Summer on Spotify
Here’s the link as well.
Ok, so in combination with music, my friendships have also been key in helping me heal. There is something called creative anxiety. I just learned this term. And it perfectly states, in a nutshell, what I’ve been experiencing. One of my dear poem friends, Jen, gave me the best advice earlier this summer. She told me to not create if I didn’t want to.” Whatever is calling to you now, even not creating, is the step in the right direction for you.” So, simple right? Nothing has to be perfect. I literally made it into wallpaper and put it on my phone to look at daily. Best advice ever! It reminded me that I’m the one in the driver’s seat. Not my brain wanting to pour out fifty million projects. My heart, body, and soul deserve more respect. So, now my flow is picking back up again. My spirit leads the way, guided by Light.
And of course, rounding out my healing formula this summer has been poetry. My good poem friend, Ellen Rowland offered a five-week poetry workshop covering so much information about creating poetry. Methods and forms and encouraging creative styling. It was awesome!
Here is a poem I wrote during her workshop…
BLUE SKY MIND
Sunny blue skies
Fill up my soul with loving bliss
Sunny blue skies
Hum only Earthly lullabies
Sounds of natural influence
Arise, fly high, firebird phoenix
Sunny blue skies
MB Kaplan
She will be offering a new workshop series every Saturday this September.
She writes beautiful haikus. And this one was so perfect I had to share. Check out her workshop offering. Link is in her bio.
So, there we have it, my friends, my offering for now. I’m looking forward to this next chapter ahead. My birthday is this weekend (Lordy, Lordy forty-four!) and the very best gift to receive this year is of course love and renewed life, my son will be entering a much less strenuous phase of his treatment, the last phase. So I’m grateful for this rebirth, this newly gained peace, this new life. I look forward to getting back into my writing groove here on Substack. As well as adding in more goodies, as well!
A view from my new “makeshift” writing space. Yes, it’s a folding table, for now. It’s not glamorous. But, it’s amazing and all mine!
Inspired by Helen over at The Red Fern
I love her desk snapshots. And it got me thinking…I deserve a dedicated writing nook that gives me all the feels, too! Thanks, Helen! Her newsletter is bountiful and gorgeous. Definitely check her out!
Alright then, sending out loads of love to you my dear readers! As you traverse your day today, notice the smallest thing that brings you peace. Stop to feel the breeze or the raindrops or a hug from a friend.
As always, what was your favorite part of today, the last hour, the last ten minutes?
Let me know in the comments! I would love to know!!!
With Grace & Gratitude,
Mary Beth
A nourishing read, MB. Giving ourselves permission to go slowly, restore and simplify seem so often counter-intuitive but is, in fact, exactly what our vulnerable human existence actually needs. What sustains us IS enough. Good on you for digging in so creatively and returning with the good news and the gold xxx
Dear MB,
Thank you for sharing how you are dealing with life, how you are giving yourself permission to take breaks and return to what inspires you again. I also like your decluttering bursts!
Know your warrior child stays in our prayers, and you all too.
Glad to read your poem and know you feel creativity emerging again✨💖✨🌈🕊️love & Namaste - hb